get in losers we're doing science

[malnosso]

[This entry is not backdated.]

Good evening, citizens of Luceti. It is now February 18th***, and we have of course just concluded the annual celebration of our favourite "Earth" holiday. We know the shifts that occur during this time of year are decidedly unpleasant to you all, but we love, well, love, and it's not as if we get to really celebrate and have fun around here. Do you know how long our shifts are in the research division? I swear they REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED

--I apologize for the above misinformation. I have just been reminded by my superiors to let you all know that we are very well-treated here, and that you should aspire to join our ranks one day at our very prestigious organization. However, your presence in the Luceti enclosure is equally important, so please, don't resent your treatment this past week. It is, after all, a holiday for everyone.

Speaking of holidays, we wish to apologize for the sudden disappearance of several of our key spokespersons. ...Well, holiday is perhaps the wrong word. Disappearance is not, however. Really, we're not sure where they are. Or when they disappeared. But they definitely have.

The whereabouts of the following organization members is currently unknown:

Carol REDACTED - MIA
Alice REDACTED - MIA
Molly REDACTED - MIA / Wanted for suspected espionage
REDACTED REDACTED, known publicly as Bilirubin or Catherine - Confirmed traitor, wanted alive, guilty of treason, terrorism, vandalism, conspiracy, murder, attempted murder, arson, child abduction, public nuisance, indecent exposure. Reward upon capture.
REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED - REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED
REDACTED REDACTED - REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED

...Really, none of that is We apologize for any inconveniences due to the above absences, and will certainly keep you informed whenever we gain new information on the issue. At least, when it is deemed necessary that you know. Anyone with information pertaining to the above individuals should come forward immediately to share what they know.

Thank you for your attention. I will stand by for any questions you might have for the remainder of the day!


[A short while later (possibly after the error has been pointed out), an addendum is made; the date at the top is crossed out and the following message is given:]

***DO NOT PANIC. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THE ENCLOSURE'S CALENDAR. PLEASE CARRY ON. THE ABOVE WAS A TYPING ERROR.

INTERNS WILL NO LONGER HANDLE PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENTS.

CARRY ON.***