malnosso: (The Manager)
malnosso ([personal profile] malnosso) wrote2012-06-17 10:05 pm
Entry tags:

[Locked To Residents Only]

War.

Nobody likes it. Unless you're the guy selling weapons. As a matter of fact, we have some people like that listening right now. Hell, I was one of them myself. Good business practice, that. People never want to stop killing each other. Well, gentlemen, this world is no exception. Now I'm no fighter myself, but right now I'm one of the few people with the security clearance to contact you folks. So here I am. CJ, head of the MARS division, to call out your names for the draft to come. Now let me just get this list. One second now.

[He clears his throat and starts listing off the names for the people drafted, alphabetically by first name. This will take him awhile. So bear with him. By the time he's done, his voice is raspier than usual. There's a lengthy pause after this before he continues.]

There. That's everyone. If you didn't hear your name, then lucky you. You get to stay and avoid the upcoming battle. But for the those of you who were called out, it's time to serve your organization. Save the world. Protect the innocent. Kill the bastards who tried to kill me last week. But it's not all doom and gloom, kids. Think of this as a special opportunity. Why? Because to save the world, you won't be on this world. That's right, you're going to space. Space. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's the big black thing just above the sky. Filled with planets, the moon, and the sun. It's big. Very big. And you're about to experience it yourself.

The Commandant can't be here to deliver the news, seeing as how she's preparing for the battle herself. There was talk of doing one of those automated messages, but I told them to hell with that. I prefer the personal approach. So let me give you the details. I've attached some information here you'll find useful. Be sure to read it thoroughly before you go out there. The last thing we need is for one of you nutjobs to go out an airlock without the appropriate equipment. Trust me, you don't want to do it. There's no air out there. And without air, no one can hear you screaming and gagging. Which in my opinion, is probably a good thing. Never was a fan of hearing cries for help. Downright unsettling.

Now hold on a second while I attach a few things.

[First there's a map of the moon base. Then a map of the moon. Then there's technical details for The Liberator, the Tyr-Fighters, the space suits, weapons, and anything else that would be relevant.]

There you go. More information than you could ever want, free of charge. Now you're probably asking yourself, "How the hell do a bunch of helmet-wearing savages get their asses in space?" Good question. I have no idea. A couple of days ago they were spotted carving up a bunch of mountains. Then started taking those pieces in the sky. We figured it was an aerial assault, but before we knew it, the bastards were going into space. Without the decency of proper space equipment. The Security Forces have been trying to pick them off, but that was just the first wave. Seems like the second waves gonna be a doozie. So that's where you all come in. You're the reinforcements. All of you. In every single enclosure out there. Except you guys. You know who you are.

That means you'll be fighting with our own Security Forces. You lot will be on The Liberator, captained by Specialist Davis. Some of you may already know him already. Now you might be thinking this is a good opportunity to pick a fight and settle some scores. Well don't. You'll be outnumbered out there. If you want to get back to your cozy beds in one piece, you'll need to cooperate. Teamwork. Think of it as a good bonding experience. And a chance to make yourselves not look like a bunch of raving lunatics too dangerous to let loose. That about wraps up this briefing. Prepare to move out at 9AM, two days from now. Sarah, you can cut the feed now. Sarah? Dammit, I'll do it myself.

[Click.]
asobouyo: (whoa rly?)

[personal profile] asobouyo 2012-06-20 08:32 am (UTC)(link)
Wait, wait! What's a black hole?? Is that bad?
rollypolyclover: (What if ice cream can't fix it?!)

[personal profile] rollypolyclover 2012-06-20 10:01 am (UTC)(link)
You don't know? [Thank goodness she's watched a lot of TV.] Black holes are these big holes in space that want to suck you up and drag you all over space! You gotta watch out 'cuz once you're sucked in you can't get out for a really long time.
asobouyo: (GOD)

[personal profile] asobouyo 2012-06-21 08:09 am (UTC)(link)
What?! Yotsuba, why didn't you tell me sooner?!

[WAY TO DRAIN THE SERIOUS CONCERN OUT OF HER WITH MORE COMEDIC ONES, GODDAMN.]

Is there anything we can do to keep them away from us??
rollypolyclover: (But this means Yotsuba will die!)

[personal profile] rollypolyclover 2012-06-21 08:21 am (UTC)(link)
[BUT BEING SERIOUS IS SOOO LAME. BESIDES THESE ARE SERIOUSLY COMEDIC CONCERNS!]

You hafta turn away from them and run away really fast before they suck you in!! They must always be hungry because they suck anything in no matter what. They're also really lazy, they just sit there and wait until you're close enough. And then you go sluuuuurrrp!!
asobouyo: (I'm gonna totally sneeze on you.)

[personal profile] asobouyo 2012-06-22 09:42 pm (UTC)(link)
So we just gotta' stay far away from them, right?
rollypolyclover: (But what if it was poisoned?!)

[personal profile] rollypolyclover 2012-06-23 12:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Really far, like... This!

[HUP. There goes her journal off to the other side of the room and landing on the floor with a bang.]

You've gotta be this far away to be safe!!
asobouyo: (I'm still creepin'.)

[personal profile] asobouyo 2012-06-25 07:46 am (UTC)(link)
[oh good, that's pretty far]

But what if you can't see the black hole 'cuz there's a wall in the way??
rollypolyclover: (Whoah! Dizzy!)

[personal profile] rollypolyclover 2012-06-25 06:30 pm (UTC)(link)
... Yotsuba didn't think of that!! [DAMN SPACE WALLS.]

You have to look around the wall really slowly, and carefully, and quietly. And sneaky, really sneaky so the black hole doesn't know you're there, like this!!

[Her head painfully slowly edges its way into the view of the journal and stares with wide eyes at its pages. This is her super sneaky black hole watching face.]
asobouyo: (Such a creeper.)

[personal profile] asobouyo 2012-06-26 11:03 am (UTC)(link)
R-right! [THAT IS SUCH A SUPER SNEAKY FACE!! Yet her show you hers.] But then what do we do? If we see one! Is there any way to beat them or scare them away...?
rollypolyclover: (So there's going to be no playing?!)

[personal profile] rollypolyclover 2012-06-26 06:44 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't think so... They must be invincible!
asobouyo: (SCREAAAAA—)

[personal profile] asobouyo 2012-06-27 10:04 am (UTC)(link)
Invincible?!

Then whatcha' think we should do??
rollypolyclover: (That would be bad SMILE)

[personal profile] rollypolyclover 2012-06-27 04:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Be very quiet around them and don't upset them. That means don't tell them that they're ugly even if they look really really ugly in the first place!!
asobouyo: (Blush!)

[personal profile] asobouyo 2012-06-28 10:32 am (UTC)(link)
Alright! I'll be super quiet! I'll even talk into my hand, so I'm not super loud...!
rollypolyclover: (Yotsuba found nothing!)

[personal profile] rollypolyclover 2012-06-28 09:50 pm (UTC)(link)
[That's a good idea. So good Yotsuba starts talking into her hand right now.]

If we do this then we can get through space, not make any black holes upset and come back so we can play together again!
asobouyo: (HI HEY HEY SUP HEY)

[personal profile] asobouyo 2012-06-30 09:59 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah!! And maybe we can bring the moon rocks back and keep them for forever!

[MAN THANKS FOR BRINGING MY SPIRITS UP, YOTSUBRO]
rollypolyclover: (You can have it okay bye~)

[personal profile] rollypolyclover 2012-07-01 01:13 am (UTC)(link)
Forever and ever, and give them names and show them to all our friends too!

[DON'T MENTION IT, ELICIBRO]