malnosso | [Voice]

[This voice may sound very, very familiar to some residents.]

Oh goodness!

My my, so! I imagine all of you are wondering what's going on here! I know, we don't contact you very much, but gracious me this should change! Yes. Yes, the best working relationships rely on communication and such and lovely things like that. So I shall be communicating with you, and some day we'll have some semblance of a professional acquaintance.

Possibly.

Oh, but of course the Great One has spoken to you concerning our offer! I heard that he would from the previous management, yes, and the Great One is nothing if not thorough! Naturally, I imagine he informed you of the circumstances of the agreement, but for those of you unfortunate enough to miss an audience with him, I shall summarize!

You will be contracted to fight in various skirmishes to which we will transport you in exchange for more modern accommodations within your enclosure (electricity/energy, appliances, central lighting and heat) and perhaps an end to the experimentation, if all goes well. Naturally, when you are out we will provide you with world-class accommodations! Anything your heart could desire for your quarters- well, within reason. We're not miracle workers after all! [Have a joyful laugh!]

Likewise, if you require special tools or vehicles for battle, we will do our best to provide those as well. You need only ask!

So, I ask of you, are you interested? It would be wonderful if we could put an end to all this!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh goodness, the first! The first, of course.

Hn. One more thing then. If you won't lift the power limit, can you at least fix it so my second form doesn't blow up on me half the time? I still wouldn't be at full power, but at least I wouldn't be kicking my own ass, either.

Hmm...I would need you to come in for testing. Or perhaps the Great One can help you! I will ask him for you sir, I will!

Testing, huh? [He...really doesn't like the sound of that] I dunno... D'you guys even know what the hell you're doing? I'd rather not end up in even worse shape, if it's all the same to you.

...and who the hell's the Great One?

The Great One is the Great One! Ohhh, he's simply perfect in every way. He is a genius among fools, a god among men!

A genius among fools, huh? That...don't exactly inspire a lotta confidence, y'know?

Oh, but in comparison to his intellectual might we are all fools!

...Or maybe you guys just ain't that bright and he just seems like a genius.

Ah hahaha! That could be so! Still, an apple in a barrel of rocks is still an apple!